A framework for understanding the protective patterns that shape your life, so you can begin
to trust who you are.
What if the patterns you struggle with most aren't flaws, but actually protective adaptations?
The Seven Shadows™ is a framework for understanding the unconscious patterns that shape how we relate to ourselves, others, and the world around us. Here, we avoid asking, "What's wrong with me?"
The Seven Shadows™ invites a different question: What might this pattern be trying to protect?
This is important because if you believe there is something "wrong" with you, Lovely, you are constantly judging yourself, and that is exhausting.
This method begins by becoming curious about the ways you've learned to survive, belong, protect yourself, and make sense of the world. Each shadow is a meeting place, a point where you can look at your pain, and struggles and, with practice, become curious about how you can evolve from here instead of being overwhelmed by it.
At this meeting point, there are many things to tend to. Memories, emotions, conditioning, patterns, behaviors, belief systems and even your nervous system responses. In Ayurveda, we call this citta. It’s your stuff, your baggage, and we all have it. It layers on top of, and hides, the truest, most radiant version of you.
But, what is so vital to remember, and to be open to, is that also waiting at each meeting point, almost like buried treasure, are gifts. These are revealed to you after a time of healing, integration and embodiment. Pleasure, joy, curiosity, openness, hope…it is your work, and your dedication to yourself and your evolution, that will reveal them.
And, just as you may notice of shadows in nature, these too, will weave in and out of each other. They will expand and contract, become bolder, and fade away.
If you approach each as separate, or as something to be mastered, you forfeit the possibility of truly connecting to each of the shadows. However, when they are perceived as a meeting place, you enter into a relationship with the shadows, and become open to the expansion that exists inside of each and within the entire framework.
Meet The Seven Shadows™
The Shadow of Survival
Where in your life does it feel impossible to let your guard down?
You may notice that it seems impossible to settle, or feel at ease, that is The Shadow of Survival inviting you to notice what you need. You may feel restless, your mind unable to focus, and you may over react, or feel numb or distant.
The Shadow of Survival brings us into acceptance of our current reality. It asks you to admit to yourself where you may feel unsafe (physically, emotionally, psychologically or spiritually) and to look at how that unsteadiness impacts your life through your nervous system patterns. This shadow is the foundation, and will almost always accompany the other shadows.
Healing in this shadow brings with it the gift of being able to feel at ease in your body, and the wisdom to listen to its subtle cues in order to continue to feel safe.
The Shadow of the Mother
What if you were to give yourself the care that you offer to everyone else?
Often, but not always, felt in the heart-space, The Shadow of the Mother comes with a deep longing for love, and nurturing, and sometimes, resentment related to the inequity in how much you nurture, versus how much you are offered that same care and devotion.
It invites you to peel back the many intricate layers that come along with “Mother”. Be it the relationship to your own mother, to mothering or caretaking in any way, this shadow plays a crucial role in your evolution. It shines a light on how you may have been shaped by spoken and unspoken messages and patterns from your mom, grandmother or even aunts. It speaks to how the invisible and unpaid work of these women, as well as your own, may continue to be a place of anguish in your life.
The gift within integration of this shadow allows you to shift your relationship to caregiving, to your own mother, and to begin to ask for the care you need, while refocusing your own energy on you, without guilt.
The Shadow of the Heart
Do you ever wonder what it might be like to let yourself feel?
When you arrive at this shadow, you may notice a feeling of being consumed by your emotions, unable to see clearly through them, express them, or even identify them. You might feel easily overwhelmed, or as though you are moving through life on auto-pilot.
The Shadow of the Heart is a natural progression from the previous shadow, as you are exploring ideas of emotional intelligence, presence and embodiment. Often, women and people who were socialized as girls are conditioned into “acceptable” emotional expression, (often from our mothers & female caregivers) leaving any uncomfortable feelings to be pushed away. This shadow invites you to recognize your emotions as teachers, and learn to feel safe and capable of holding or expressing them.
The gifts and wisdom held in this shadow are abundant and rich, as each individual emotion has it’s own to share. You may learn where a boundary is needed, or that your anger, or sadness are safe to feel, and listen to.
The Shadow of Doubt
What parts of your life might shift if you trusted yourself, just 10% more?
At this meeting place, you may not know what your “yes” feels like, or as though you live for everyone but yourself, and possibly seek external validation in order to find peace. It is present in patterns such as people pleasing, having wobbly boundaries, or hyper-independence.
There is deep work here within The Shadow of Doubt as you work towards cultivating self trust, which is a slow and delicate process, but entirely attainable. It builds upon the ideas of the previous shadows, clarifying the ways in which you may have been conditioned away from your own radiance.
The ever precious gift of Self -Trust emerges a little at a time, like a flower poking its way through dark, damp soil, allowing you to move through the world self-assured, and steady.
The Shadow of Pleasure
What if pleasure is the medicine you've been missing?
Often, this shadow reveals itself in ways that are incredibly uncomfortable to speak about. Low desire, difficulty to reach orgasm (if at all), negative feelings about your body or about sex and intimacy are common indications of The Shadow of Pleasure. You might experience a disconnect from desire, sex, pleasure or receiving love or care.
For centuries, women have been shamed for wanting or needing all of these, and this shadow carries the weight of generations of conditioning and silence. The work here is multi-layered, first connecting to yourself and your desires. (What do you REALLY want in life?) And then to the concept of pleasure, and finally sexual pleasure
The gifts revealed here are deep and luscious. Imagine soaking up the experience of the sun on your face, the first sip of coffee, or the kiss of your lover as nourishment, allowing the pleasure of each moment to fill you. That is the power of pleasure.
The Shadow of Truth
Can you imagine a life where you don't have to pretend anymore?
When folks talk about “finding themselves” it is this shadow that is inviting them into what is often referred to as soul searching. You might feel listless, question your purpose in life, and even feel completely disconnected from yourself or your hopes and dreams.
It is here where you may examine beliefs and values that no longer align. (You might even think of it as your 'Eat, Pray, Love' era.) Your needs and desires begin to emerge, your emotions are less overwhelming, and finally, unapologetic authenticity begins to shine through.
The gift of knowing yourself, with unwavering certainty is slowly revealed, and you feel grounded, steady and assured of what is best for you.
The Shadow of Power
What might become possible if you said "Yes!" to your power?
Within The Shadow of Power, you may have difficulty speaking up, voicing ideas or concerns. You may seem to “go with the flow” but really, under it all, you are ruminating on the different ways you have been overlooked, ignored or underestimated.
You know deep inside that women have been robbed of their power, their voices, their autonomy and sovereignty, and you are ready to stop being held down by centuries of patriarchy. This is the place where you learn self-advocacy and devotion.
This is the shadow where you embody the power that has always been inside you - the courage, confidence and knowing of who the fuck you are, and move through the world as you were meant to.
Meeting your shadows through your own story, your lived experience, is very different than reading about them.
It can be difficult to recognize our own protective patterns because we've been living inside them for so long. What feels "normal" to us may actually be a shadow that has slowly shaped our relationships, boundaries, business, pleasure, parenting, or sense of self for years.
So, I created the Shadow Mapping Session.
It's not a discovery call, or a sales pitch. It's an opportunity to gently explore one area of your life through the lens of The Seven Shadows Framework™ and begin making sense of the protective pattern beneath it.
During your 30 minute session you'll bring one thing you'd like to better understand, heal, or shift (shared in your intake form ahead of time). Together, we'll gently explore that area of your life through this work.
You'll leave with:
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A deeper understanding of yourself through the lens of The Seven Shadows Framework™
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Greater compassion for the protective pattern that's asking for your attention
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A somatic practice or ritual to support your continued integration
No expectation that you'll continue working with me - just an opportunity to experience the framework for yourself.
Book Your Complimentary Shadow Mapping Session
Welcome, to the places where you meet yourself.
The Seven Shadows aren't places you'll visit just once.
You'll return to them again and again, each time with a little more awareness,
more compassion and more trust.
Over time, these meeting places become places of healing.
Places of wisdom.
Places of self-trust.
And eventually...
Places that remind you who you've been all along.
Welcome.