I invite you to notice the reaction of your body even as you read those words. Does looking at them create any sensation in you? Do you notice any discomfort, tension or resistance?
We (Pussy Owners & Women) have been trained to shy away from anger. The Good Kid Narrative we grew up with, told us to always smile, be nice, say yes, don't disagree, don't argue.... and on and on and on. (I talked about this more in depth last week... check it out if you haven't) ;)
We have been force fed the message that we are not safe to express our anger, which has disconnected us from a beautiful source of power, courage and opportunities to learn ourselves. Rage offers us such valuable lessons about ourselves, and what our soul knows is in alignment for our higher self. Anger teaches us about where we need a boundary, and shows us where we may be over giving of ourselves.
Anger sits in us like a fire. Too much fuel, and it will rage out of control. Suppression contains it to an ember, slowly burning a hole inside of us. What anger needs from us, much like the perfect campfire, is respect, care and attention. It is only when we tend our fire with love and intention that it is able to fulfil its role. Ayurvedic wisdom tells us that the element of fire is within us for the purpose of transformation, and that anger is a manifestation of a need to shift something in our lives.
Tending your fire takes some practice. Anger is uncomfortable, and we may also have other emotions that arise with it. Perhaps we experience shame that we are angry to begin with. Lets go through some steps that can be helpful in creating space for anger.
When you begin to feel anger arising, give it space. Fire needs to breathe. Take a break from the situation or conversation that is bringing anger up.
In a quiet place, sit with your eyes closed, hand to your belly and welcome anger. Give it full permission to ignite within you. Let it know that you are not afraid or ashamed of it, and that you welcome the lessons it brings.
Swamp. I learned the process of Swamping from Mama Gena. If you're not sure who she is, here is a link to her brilliance. She wrote "Pussy: A Reclamation" which I have read about 4 times now and recommend to all my clients. https://mamagenas.com/ Swamping involves allowing yourself to feel every tiny drop of anger (or whatever emotion you are working with - this process works for all of them).
Notice how the emotion feels in your body. Where does it create the most sensation? (Maybe burning sensation in your belly, or a lump in your throat). If it feels safe, breath into this sensation, and bring your awareness fully into it.
Next, notice what this sensation needs from you. Swamping is a practice of moving energy. Does it need to punch a pillow and scream? Put on loud music and dance? Lay in bed and have a power cry?
Take the time to honor what is needed, and then rest. Notice how you feel now. Do you have more clarity? Have you discovered what was beneath your anger? (Anger being a secondary emotion, always having a layer beneath - sadness, disappointment, fear, frustration etc.)
Notice what the anger was trying to communicate to you, and maybe even journal about it. Had your boundaries been crossed? Were you feeling unsafe? Explore this a little in whatever way serves you best.
5. Thank your anger for its wisdom, take a few breaths, feeling love and gratitude for this process of understanding and clarity.
It can be hard to see the gift in our rage, when our conditioning has told us that it is unacceptable, and to hide it away. I invite you to lean into it, as it feels safe for you, and welcome it as a teacher. Creating space for our anger brings us into a more empowered relationship with ourselves. It allows us to begin to process and move through all of our emotions with awareness. We then shift from being reactive, to becoming responsive, with open and clear communication, which has positive impact, rippling out through all of our relationships.
If you have any questions - I'd love to hear from you.
With Love and Magick,