One of the first things I teach all of my clients is how to celebrate themselves. This can be so difficult for some women, and V-Owning humans. Celebrating ourselves, and the things we accomplish, or our growth, or really anything about YOU that makes YOU smile is incredibly empowering.
Why is this hard for us?
"DON"T BRAG!" "SHE'S SO FULL OF HERSELF."......
Isn't it true that so many of us were conditioned to make ourselves smaller in order to make others comfortable?
For example, If you, as a young human, won a contest, but your best friend lost..... were you taught to not celebrate that win so they wouldn't be sad? From a very young age, we have been trained to believe that, while we were bursting inside with pride, and excitement, that someone else's comfort was more important that tending to our own empowerment. This is often more the case with girls. Boys are taught to go out and conquer the world, make their mark and tell everyone. Girls are taught to be responsible, and to care for others.
This graph shows the percentage of students who experience high family support. Notice how that drops significantly for girls as they get older. (you can read the full report here:) https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/science-research-data/youth-findings-health-behaviour-school-aged-children-study.html
So, if girls are experiencing less support at home, are they being celebrated? Probably not as much as they should be. In turn, are they learning how to celebrate their own amazing, uniqueness? I'd bet no. In my own experience, I can say that I definitely felt less seen, and celebrated as I got to grade 9/10.
So, without dwelling too much on what did or didn't happen for us when we were young, how do we shift this narrative? How did we learn to celebrate our amazing, divine selves?
We start by bragging about the things that seem little.
"Celebrating I washed AND folded AND put away all my laundry in one day."
"Bragging that I finished my work project a day ahead of schedule."
"I am so amazing, I took myself to a yoga class today"
"I gave myself the gift of pleasure and I totally fucking deserve it."
I like to invite my clients to begin a celebration practice. Its the same idea as a gratitude practice, it can be in a journal if that feels good to you (I definitely recommend writing it down until it feels comfortable.) OR - and even better - find a friend to do it with you, and you can text or call each other about your celebrations. It is amazing to celebrate yourself, and have that received, and someone to enthusiastically celebrate with you.
The effects of regular celebration - we begin to see our own awesomness. It's the foundation to empowerment, self love, self trust and all the juicy goodness that comes along with those thing.
There are rules....celebrations have to be about you and only you. If it feels hard, you can celebrate that you got out of bed on time in the morning, or that you remembered to eat lunch. Celebrate that you are bringing awareness to your divine and incredible self.
You, dear one, are worth celebrating with a plethora of fireworks. I hope you see that.
But if you don't that's ok. Start small, and work your way into finding the Goddess or Goddex that lives inside you.
With Love and Magick,
Krystal Jannelle (she/her)